I’m a super light sleeper (the baby is too) and my husband could sleep through a traincar derailing and landing in the living room. As a matter of fact they had to keep their babies close to them at all time to avoid them being eaten by animals in the wild. And I had initially felt worried about all the negative talk about it but my experience was great. My son is 9 months old and sleeps with me and my husband. How to stop co-sleeping with your newborn to 18-month-old The good news is your baby’s sleep habits are still highly adaptable at this age, but to train your infant to be comfortable in their own bassinet or crib, you’ll need to be consistent about making sure that all sleep happens in that space. . Sharing your room with your baby is believed to help the development of your baby’s senses and is one of the benefits of co-sleeping. I sleep share with my 13 month old on one side and with my 3.5 year old on the other side. I believe it is a lovely experience you can share with your children. My husband and I still find alone time. Guess what, he is a grown independent contributing member of society who received a BA in 2.5 years and is working as a customs agent. Even then I don’t know if it would reduce my anxiety… All it takes is one horror story before I start to think I’m making the wrong decisions. ”. I am 8 months pregnant with my first and really appreciate all the mamas experiences in these comments. My family used to joke that nothing would wake me up. “Breastfed babies seem to be the safest sleeping next to mom (versus near dad or another child). I will admit I had my first baby sleep next to me in bed until he was 5 or 6 months old. Then my saving grace happend. He sleeps all night. My husband and I co-sleep with our now 1 year old, and love it. Even if she was sound asleep I would wake her just to make sure she was sleeping. Or perhaps dad has strep throat or mom has the stomach flu. We didn’t begin co-sleeping with our son until he was 13 months old and had difficulties falling back asleep. I tried to graduate our first baby from a co-sleeper to a crib in his own room at about 4 mos, as that was what my friends did. . That’s the beauty of bed sharing. Sidecar: the baby’s bed is adjacent to and touching the parents’ bed. Then we would lay with her until she fell asleep. I know that it is very natural and common for them to bedshare with their infants and older children, but I see things in homes every day that are so unsafe for babies. We hadn’t planned on it, it just kind of happened. This is something my husband and I are still trying to figure out ha! Having longer periods of sleep between feedings, I didn’t mind going to the other room to breastfeed and felt better rested than with 2-hour intervals without getting up. That way, there is no confusion. Lol! i found i couldn't sleep well with my children in my room. Haha! Please share your experience in the comments below! Our advice on co-sleeping with your baby will tell you how. I suffered through 2 miscarriages and was told we could not have kids. I tell many woman my story when asked what i think of co-sleeping? The safest place for a baby to sleep – night and day – is in your room. If you choose to co-sleep with your baby the safest place is a clear space on a firm flat mattress the same as we would advise with a cot. I think a big stumbling block to co-sleeping is that some parents feel like they have to do it all the time including when baby is sleeping through the night. Parents who consume alcohol or drugs or are on medications that make them sleepy should not bedshare. She is the bestselling author of The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth and creator of the Mama Natural Birth Course. Many aspects of your life will have to be sacrificed to create the best possible life for your child. Each kid is different and it will probably change every time. My husband and I for the most part co slept with our daughter till she was about a year old. When we came home I was on autopilot. I do know many couples who LOVE co-sleeping and find that it has enriched their family life. The way I had pillows positioned made it so there was no way I *could* roll onto the baby, yet I was very comfortable so I could rest. Bed sharers are not excessively tired. Im glad he was next to me to watch instead of in another room where I would have been getting up to do the same thing ? I felt it was an unpopular choice so I didn’t talk about it much. Many people use the terms \"bed-sharing\" and \"co-sleeping\" to describe the same thing, but there are differences: 1. after he reached 4 months everything started to smooth out and feel more relaxed on my end. We’ve co-slept for 19 months now, with child rails on the bed from day one. I don’t think it’s right for young new mothers to be so frightened of SIDS they overlook the most natural of occurrences. If she wasn’t in the bed she was in the room in her pack n play. You’d be surprised how many actually do co-sleep without knowing (or admitting) it! I love co-sleeping! Co-sleeping more safely: positions and tips. It got so they liked their own beds more. It felt right for us from day one. 2) Is the mattress or the cosleeper flush with your mattress? Swaddling increases risks of sleep related death if bed sharing or the baby is placed on his/her stomach to sleep. We lived in Asia for the first nine months after she was born and every single famiy cosleeps there, in my opinion, that’s what we’re designed to do. He is going on 5 months. If he is right beside me, I sleep so much better! Eventually, my lactation consultant mother convinced me to give the lie down position another try (thank goodness! Co-sleeping with baby? At 19 months, it is still the same. Co-sleeping with a premature or low-birth-weight baby, or any baby younger than 4 months, is also more risky. My husband and I have been bed sharing with our first son since day one. We are still co-sleeping with our girls, one almost 4 and the other 20 months. Your comment resonates with me, Kathleen. We swore we wouldn’t cosleep and the day our daughter was birn (homebirth) she was in her crib. I wish someone would have reassured me then. Another surprising other bonus is that out sex life and intimacy has sky rocketed since bedsharing. I know sounds crazy but I had this amazing baby that I was told I could not have and with the history in the family I was on the edge thinking at any time she could die. It nearly saved my sanity! Parents who smoke (and moms who smoked during pregnancy) should not bedshare. 59 $53.99 $53.99. It has been so good for us and made us so close. She transitioned from our bed to her own very easily. Co-sleeping is when the baby sleeps near the parents, either in the same bed or the room with them. We have coslept with our daughter since she was born and bed hared since she was 2 months old and wouldn’t change a thing. I had mild PPD and cosleeping helped ease the terrible anxiety. As an foreigner living in Mexico i see co sleeping as a norm in this country. Traditionally babies slept with their parents. Before our son was born, my husband and I had mutually agreed we’d co-sleep with the pack n play next to us for the first 3 months and then would move to his own bedroom. 1) Is it actually useful as a playyard/playpen? So glad to know we are not alone! I have co-slept with my baby since she was born. Thank goodness for my great sister in law and mother. I think the changing pad is great because it is a bit sunk in the middle thereby preventing him from rolling off or being smothered by us. I loooooooved co-sleeping! Planned on not co-sleeping with my son, but when he wakes up half-way through the night to eat he ends up staying in bed with me. I believe the snuggle time we had every night when she was young helped. Co-Sleeping With Your Baby: Has The Indian Culture Got It Right Or Wrong? We would leave him there only to come back later and find him in a completely different position . Less restful sleep. I had 2 horrible things happen in your family with babies. He loves his crib though. In fact, the AAP just increased their recommendation for room sharing from the first 6 months of baby’s life to the first year of baby’s life due to the decreased risk of SIDS. I LOVE co-sleeping!! Breastfeed. My son will be five in April, and he still sleeps with us…in our bed. His doctor says that he should not be night nursing, but I do not care. When he came home from the hospital, he just would not sleep in the crib at all. –. Thankfully Kent got used to it quickly and slept great, too. I work as a nurse in a community where opiate addiction, smoking and alcohol are very prevalent, and breastfeeding is uncommon after a few weeks. This could mean baby has their own bed (or crib) in the same room, a bed adjacent to the parent’s bed, or sleeping in the same bed as one or both parents. Since your upper body isn’t covered, it gets chilly. Moreover, they are also loud scrimers, so they can easily wake you up if something is wrong. My husband ended up bringing our daughter into bed to sleep on his chest when she was a tiny newborn from around 4.30-5am because she was born in the summer and would wake with the light then and that was the only way she would go back to sleep! I think as long as everyone in the family is happy with the arrangement there is nothing wrong with it. It seems like wherever I turn everyone is using a sidecar, bassinet or crib and that nobody is really planning on bedsharing. If you think you might fall asleep on a sofa or armchair, put the baby down in a safe place to sleep. It worked for me and I loved that connection and cuddles. With our oldest, she started out on a changing pad we just put in the middle of our bed. There’s always going to be controversy surrounding anything you do with kids! Also, my husband is a heavy sleeper and as a fire fighter who has seen terrible things happen with co sleeping and babies sleeping on parents chests. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises against co-sleeping with your baby because it increases the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related deaths. We still occasionally sleep in the same room at parents’ houses when space is short (she’s now 6 months), and neither us nor her ever sleep as well! She was a preemie and I saw so many benefits for her to sleep with us. And, of course, for most of human history, co-sleeping was the norm in all cultures. If, however, I dropped my baby or smothered him with my full breasts when I was breastfeeding in the nigh, because I was exhausted (both almost happened) then I would be forgiven. (Our youngest is 9 1/2.) No it lift me feeling that this child would know how much she is loved because this is the only thing I can do. Room sharing is as simple as having baby’s bassinet or crib on the side of parent’s bed. Thank the Lord we have a king and queen bed next to each other in a large room! Comments (2) Add a comment. Within the first couple months… I would say once they were only getting up once a night for nursing. Not all new parents are excessively tired…. This is because parents are more aware of their baby when baby is close (breathing, if they are to warm, has something over their face, another human being near helps regulate their breathing etc). And my husband is usually a bit squished waaay on the other edge of the bed, where he often has to put a pillow to separate him from our oldest, who seems to keep her feet toward him and her head toward me. Other nights it’s baby in his crib. Co-sleeping is when parents bring their babies into bed with them to sleep. I felt so blessed. Once, I even snatched my husband’s pillow from under his head in a half sleeping daze (I guess I thought he stole it?). I don’t want to say that any mother is to blame, but I want to know about the statistics of death from sids when the bedsharing situation is following all of the safety guidelines. Ahh… much better for 4! Basically, you can see, hear, and touch your baby easily and vice versa. With my first it was the hardest to have her sleep in her crib and it just didn’t feel right that it took so much work just to put her to bed, so I did what my gut told me. Over time our sleep cycles really did sync and I often barely remember waking or nursing. It is natural! The first few months being scared to use the bathroom for the fear of seeing blood. But once my baby arrived I felt very alert of her position. I’d nurse on demand sitting up and just sit like that all night, until my husband woke for work and left shortly after. Encouragement for parents who are interested in co-sleeping. I also co slept with my first child for a long time. Sears’ Baby Sleep Book. Helps working moms get more time with baby. I wake up in a panic off and on for hours, thinking I’ve smothered them. Sleep on a firm, flat surface (not a waterbed, couch or sofa). That means making sure there are no hazards and that baby is sleeping in a safe environment. But it’s not often like that. By then he was only nursing in the morning, at nap, and right before bed. Sometimes that means my 8 month old sleeping in bed with us. SIDS concerns me as I know a mother who lost her child to it at 6 weeks so I personally feel baby is safer in my room, but in her own sleep space. According to Dr. James McKenna, head of the … In our bed she slept soundly until about 6:30 or 7am. This could mean baby has their own bed (or crib) in the same room, a bed adjacent to the parent’s bed, or sleeping in the same bed as one or both parents. Do not sleep with your baby if you are under the influence of any substance such as alcohol or medication (even if prescribed) that could induce a deeper sleep and reduce awareness of your baby (either partner). For two reasons I do not want this. Wondering if the fluffy sides are a risk or suffocating. He still nurses down at night, so he does so between my husband and myself. .embed-pin { I get razzed all the time that my year old son should sleep in bed with us but we sleep much like Mama and Papa Natural. Anything confining she has hated. Our son ended up in bed or on our chests pretty often, due to reflux issues. He now sleeps between us at night and it is great. So one day when my husband was away on a business trip I decided to put the baby in the bed with me so I didn’t have to get up to check on him all the time . It’s all about safety with co-sleeping. Some parents choose to bed share with their babies. Last three babies slept right in mamas arms all night long. Experts recommend co-sleeping in the form of room-sharing, which means having your baby sleep in your room in his own crib or bassinet, for the first six months and possibly a year, since it can reduce the risk of SIDS. I am worried about the SIDS risks, but we will do what we can to make it as safe as possible. Trust me when I say that your baby is smarter and more adaptable than you think, and she’ll adjust to the new routine out soon. The most obvious is the bonding that results from co-sleeping. I love co-sleeping. My 9 month old son has had horrible nighttime anxiety and has never slept for more than a few hours at a time. My son is 8months and we co sleep. I love the extra cuddle time, but now that I’m pregnant with #2 it can be hard staying comfortable. These contraptions can add additional assurance to parents. As long as you don’t mind a few kicks once in a while It was definitely a great decision to bed share, in all his 17 months of life I can honestly say I’ve only been sleep deprived less than a handful of times. This means that their baby shares the same bed with an adult for most of the night, and not just to be comforted or fed. Actually, she is on the twin mattress and my daughter sleeps in the middle of our bed. Dad gets a little nervous if baby is between us, so when I nurse on that side I either try to stay awake to move baby back to the other side when he’s done nursing, or I make sure to have my arm as a barrier between baby and Dad. My next two babies co-slept from birth to age 2-3. On the ‘bad nights’ I swear we are done cosleeping but then I miss her when she sleeps well in her own room. I couldn’t imagine having to get up out of bed multiple times a night, even if his crib was in the same room. Use different togs for different seasons to keep your baby … Planning to co-sleep until she want to go to another room herself. It improves the sleep time for both mother and baby. With my son he went to a swing (snug a bunny) in his own room around 7 months and then crib at about 9 months. A high proportion of infants who die as a result of SIDS are found with their head covered by loose bedding. At 16 months, she spends about 3 mornings a week in our bed, and the rest of the time she’s content in her own crib. Yet, the overwhelming majority of research opposes co-sleeping, even though it can facilitate breastfeeding. We also nap with her when we are home (weekends and days off). I’m not sure how to tell them, “DONT bedshare, but if you are going to, here’s how to make it safe”, because I know that in many families I work with, substance abuse and environmental factors will always make bedsharing unsafe. We definitely co-napped during the day when I knew I wouldn’t fall asleep but could snuggle and enjoy the closeness. Kind of sad! Our little boy is 16 mos. His book gave me a lot of confidence about co-sleeping safely. He is almost 5 months now. Co-sleeping with your baby really just means that you are sleeping close enough so that you can both tell that the other person is nearby not necessarily right next to each other. When Evey is ready. Now she has a bed in our room. He will be 2 this Monday and he still sleeps with us sometimes. Co-sleeping is the safest as the baby gets older. Place a crib or cot in your room with you for the first six months of your baby’s life. I would nurse him to sleep every night at 7:30, and he would wake up at 4am for a quick feed and go back down until 7:30. Everyone remarks on how confident, happy, and social she is (part of the larger attachment parenting project, of course!) Particularly the part about the sleep deprivation feeding into PPD. Then something amazing happened so did I. Co-sleeping is the safest as the baby gets older. My husband and I didn’t have a plan about co-sleeping. Coronavirus (COVID-19) and caring for your baby, Coping with sleep deprivation as a new parent, Safer Sleep for babies online presentations, Bereavement during the coronavirus pandemic, Supporting families during the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak, All-Party Parliamentary Group on Baby Loss, Set-up an email reminder for the Big Give, Top 10 socially distanced fundraising ideas, Care of Next Infant (CONI): Information For Professionals, CONI support during the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak, Cessation in Pregnancy Incentives Trial (CPIT), Investigating the microbiome of sudden unexpected deaths in infancy and childhood, Newborn hearing testing and the risk of unexpected infant or child death, SIDS Trio project: Familial evaluation in sudden infant death syndrome, How data can help reduce infant mortality seminar, The Lullaby Trust Grantholders Meeting 2016, The Lullaby Trust Grantholders Meeting 2017, The Lullaby Trust Grantholders Meeting 2018, Unicef’s leaflet on Caring for Your Baby at Night, Unicef’s guide Co-sleeping and SIDS: A Guide for Health Professionals. Children need to feel loved first before they can develop the desire to be independent. When I got out I was not able to get up and down and my hubby had to bring her to me. We finally decided that it was time for her to go back to her crib. When he wakes the first time, I nurse him and sometimes he gets put back in the bassinet, and sometimes I end up co sleeping all night. On the other hand, a baby nestled close to mom can nurse without fully waking (and without fully waking mom either). I decided to put him on our bed on the baby changing pad and voila he slept so easily. Some parents and some babies may sleep better alone. I got a ring sling to baby wear. Co-sleeping with your baby. Room-sharing and bed-sharing are types of co-sleeping: 1. I was given a wage to keep baby from rolling over and I used that in our bed as a divider. Not because we think it’s wrong, but because we believe our room and bed belongs to us as husband and wife. If you like the idea of co-sleeping but are worried about the risks of sharing a bed with your baby, you could use a bedside or co-sleeping cot. SIDS scares me!! Parents who sleep very deeply, are obese, sleepwalk, or are generally less aware of baby’s presence and location while sleeping should consider a. Research studies reveal babies are at a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) when they sleep in the same room as parents. I do have a question about swaddling. Let me know if you co-sleep or bed share too! I’m currently co sleeping with my first, we’re exclusively breastfeeding so co sleeping does make it a world easier…especially after healing from giving birth. Ensure there are no gaps between mattress and headboard, side rails, or … However, we moved her to our bed to sleep between me and my husband between 3 and 4 am, as she seemed to get restless in her crib around that time. We weren’t keen on co-sleeping because I struggle to get to sleep and can wake frequently in the night, but once I am asleep – I am ASLEEP! I enjoy sleeping with him so close to me. Recently my husband and his son (which is here every second weekend) moved in with me and the baby, so now we have one huge bed we all share!!! I am expecting my first child and my husband and I are considering bedsharing. We are bedsharing with our 2nd baby. Get it as soon as Mon, Dec 21. Regardless of your reasons to end co-sleeping, remember that your baby may not completely understand why she doesn’t have mom or dad right there when she wakes. But beyond the 12-month mark, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about when you should call it quits. After a few months they naturally transitioned out of it. I think western society is too obsessed with individualism and wants to force kids to grow up too quickly. 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