An evening spent chatting is a night out from hell. The title of this blog is what made me stop to read it-- I had just taken a personality quiz in which I was once again perplexed at being contradictory in my answers ie: Do you have a lot to say, my answer strongly agree, yet when the question is: Are you very talkative, my answer is neutral. As an INFJ, my Judging preference has given me the self-discipline to write books and articles. I get there early to plan my escape route.....sit in the back, close to the door. Please be courteous. These traits work well for me as a Life Skills Coach & Energy Healing Practitioner. The INFJ understands people very easily and often feels the emotions of others very strongly. According to Csikszentmihalyi, creative types are usually intelligent people, who also tend to exhibit a childlike manner. INFJs are always thinking about their next project, and feel a fiery enthusiasm about the causes that are so important to them. It’s because the INFP's cognitive functions often contradict each other. Contact: I hate physical contact, but need physical contact. Mar 16, 2017 - *Reverie*- a state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts, a daydream. An evening spent chatting is a night out from hell. I often felt torn between what appeared to be opposite interests — but they don’t have to be. (not verified), Personality Test (Myers & Briggs' 16 Types), Holiday Tips for Introverts: When You Want to be Alone But Hate to be Forgotten, A Very Truity Christmas! Walking Paradox. It was first described in 1874 by Karl Ludwig Kahlbaum as Die Katatonie oder das Spannungsirresein (Catatonia or Tension Insanity).. The Paradox Of The INFJ If you know an INFJ, this may help you understand them just a little bit better. I almost hide, i wonder how the other person feels when I totally avoid co-workers, cab mates etc and try my best to pretend to be busy / not well. I also struggle being with a lot of people at the same time the vibes I get totally shut me down pretty quickly. What a gift. But they are also the ones who have trouble socializing, crave peace and quiet, and need close companions to whom they can truly relate to. 10 Reasons The INFJ is A Walking Paradox | The Rarest Personality Type. You need to set clear boundaries about how much you will give — and remember to keep some of that compassion for yourself. She has a passion for writing articles, blog posts and books that inspire, motivate and encourage people to build self-confidence and live up to their potential. Facebook Twitter Reddit Pinterest Email. I don't know if that's true about some of the other 15 personality types, let alone all INFJs, but I do know that it's true about me. They want to get to know other people deeply — their passions, desires, and motives — and they want other people to know them deeply in return. Hi Deborah, i agree with your article and comments. They feel deeply but not outwardly. 5 years ago. But I also have been known to laugh out loud while watching The Muppet Show, especially episodes with my favorite character, Pepé the King Prawn. I have lots to say but keep to myself. But once they do, they can use their plethora of paradoxes to make the world a better place. She has written two books on mindfulness, Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness and Overcoming Fear with Mindfulness. Related to the previous point, INFJs who are creative tend to have a playfulness about them. INFJs are intensely caring individuals, who value deep connections. How can I stop feeling I'm from another solar system? It's not easy to have so many forces pulling you in different directions, but understanding yourself and what you need is the first step. This article contains affiliate links. Ah yes, the “G” word! I’ve often thought of myself as a walking, talking oxymoron, and reading your article only seems to confirm that. Truity offers a free personality test based on Myers and Briggs' types, but does not offer the official MBTI® assessment. That’s the seeming paradox of being an INFP and INFJ. Ashley 30 years young North Carolina- Estab. But once they do, they can use their plethora of paradoxes to truly make the world a better place. Creativity: The Psychology of Discovery and Invention, Here’s How Birth Order Shapes the INFJ Personality, 47 Things I Wish Other People Knew About Me as an INFJ, Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness, How Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Personality Type Faces Their ‘Shadow Side’, INFJ: What to Do When Your Emotions Overflow, 13 'Rules' for Being Friends With an Introvert, 21 Signs You're an INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type, 10 Secrets of the INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type in the World, 24 Signs That You're an INTJ Personality Type, Why Is Socializing Exhausting for Introverts? Deborah lives in Hampshire, England, where she enjoys watching documentaries, running and taking long walks in the country, especially ones that finish at a cosy pub. Because their outer worlds are so flamboyant and busy, their inner worlds are often empty and “quiet.” ESFJ: Be popular amongst your mutual peers but make it clear that you often forget to eat lunch or get enough sleep. INFJs are fascinated with all the different aspects of a man’s life and they tend to express their observations in a … Have you noticed how you steadfastly stick up for another person’s rights while struggling to speak up for yourself? This quality leaves their minds open to experience, and consequently, to further creative endeavors. Some say suffering makes an INFJ, true though that can be sometimes, it’s not the only thing that makes us who we are. INFJs can be both creative and rational, artistic and logical, writers and scientists. Subscribe to our newsletter to receive updates when we post new blogs and other content. As sensitive, intuitive people, INFJs have a highly accurate sixth sense about others. 0 0? All comments are moderated. As an INFJ, my Judging preference has given me the self-discipline to write books and articles. I often felt torn between what appear to be opposite interests, but they don’t have to be. Clarks Summit University . As an INFJ, I enjoy spending time with people, but if I’ve spent too much time around others, I feel exhausted, burned out and I need several days to recuperate. Because some times i fight with myself that i've been gone through wrong path. In her book, What’s Your Type of Career?, psychologist Donna Dunning calls INFJs “compassionate visionaries” because they have a values-based focus that emphasizes the needs and feelings of people. Our finely tuned empathy means we can feel others’ feelings — and yes, we know when they’re not telling the whole truth. I am very comfortable sitting at a table full of people talking and not engaging with them but instead quietly watching it all and listening to my inward thoughts on what I am sensing and seeing. Related: The Truth About Being An Introvert As Told By An Introvert. We can be extremely private and reserved. The feelings of an INFJ run deep and it’s hard to know what they are thinking. The INFJ Paradox. Basically, I’m a walking contradiction. To live a creative life and help others at the same time, this one I haven't figured out for myself yet. Mar 26, 2019 - As introverts who want to help people, and feelers who love logic, INFJs can seem confusing, even to themselves. You're welcome Elaine! It made me want to rant at the one who made up the questions-- "ya know why I have a lot to say but am not overly talkative?! Unlike some other personality types, INFJs need more than just company. Problem is, once we get to know someone, we can be stupidly gullible and overly trusting — trust me, I’ve been there. Where do you even start? But INFJs are more than just dreamers. Our finely tuned empathy means we can feel others’ feelings and we know when they’re not telling the truth. People who are INFJs are usually quiet, but very emotional, observant, and intuitive. Right now i am on the verge of whole new beginning of career path. We can be extremely private and reserved. Why is this? The INFJ is a natural support system … Few things about infjs which I felt needed to be said. I think that's the lack of a better example for being taken for granted. Loving and outwardly passionate about what I am seeing, feeling and creating yet quiet and almost stand offish in a room full of people. You need to set clear boundaries about how much you will give — and remember to keep some of that compassion for yourself. 30 . We really needed this! Subscribe to our INFJ-only newsletter here. Consequently, they need a way to release all that energy and express what they’ve learned in a meaningful and creative way. Thank you for such clarity in describing ME! Thank you. I want the attention, but hate the spotlight. Sometimes I wish I were okay with dreaming small so I could just pick something and move on, but that wouldn't be any fun now would it? How Does Your Personality Type Impact Your Income? Man who lives in Mongolia. Creative people, including many INFJs, have the ability to see things in this childlike way, free from the constraints, judgements, and criticisms that often stop others from being creative as adults. Check out my main blog Inspired-Fantasies above. I mostly act based on intuition more so than instinct. Here are the top 10 contradictory traits of the INFJ. So while their dedication to the common good combined with their sponge-like ability to pick up information gives them an enormous source of energy, it also means they need long periods of rest and quiet time to reflect and recharge. The INFJ wants to bond with others but may struggle to truly do so. As one of Keirsey’s Idealists, we tend to see the best in people and can be fooled into believing someone is trustworthy when they are not. No, the reason INFJs are confusing is because they are complex people who are struggling to understand themselves. Here are their top 10 contradictory traits. They hide parts of themselves out of the fear of being judged or misunderstood. They’ll lust obsessively after the … Aug 25, 2020 - The rarest personality type, a walking paradox and so much more... #INFJ. But the rarity of this type nothing to do with how many children you have. Well, it’s because the INFP’s cognitive functions often contradict each other. But it’s also important to take risks and try something new. Top Ten Reasons why INFJs are Walking Paradoxes 10 March 2019 / By Deborah Ward . As an INFJ writer, I love playing with words and using my Introverted Intuition to create stories. Now I understand that I am most likely picking up on all the stuff happening that no one is saying. Hahaha! See how many you recognize in yourself! The INFJ's are known for being the determined ones, the ones who have passions that drive them, and will fight for the underdog. INFJs and INFPs have completely different cognitive functions ; Unter allen Myers-Briggs-Persönlichkeiten sticht der INFJ-Typ als der seltenste und einzigartigste heraus. Examples of the INFJ Paradox. Idk but i  agree  we infjs have a tendency to give too much sometimes? 3. Have you noticed how you can steadfastly stick up for another person’s rights while struggling to speak up for yourself? This can make us appear almost psychic — okay, at the very least, weird — to people who don’t have these skills. But integrity is always at the heart of the INFJ as they quietly, methodically, passionately, and creatively work to express themselves and bring people and ideas together. As an INFJ, I enjoy spending time with people, but if I’ve spent too much time around others, I feel exhausted, burned out and I need several days to recuperate. I am an infj and two of my daughters are infjs too. Creative people, including INFJs, have the ability to see things in this childlike way, free from the constraints, judgements and criticisms that often stop people from being creative as adults. And here's #11: "INFJs often see themselves on a mission, and they take their missions very seriously." INFJs often feel misunderstood. They want to get to know other people—their passions, desires and motives— and they want other people to know them. 239 Followers, 326 Following, 6 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Devasmita Dutta♥️ (@the_walking_paradox_016) I’m very strategic when having to attend or engage w/ groups. They are also practical, organized, logical people who enjoy thinking, analyzing, and studying complex ideas. They are willing to reach out to others and help guide them through their struggles. Deborah lives in Hampshire, England, where she enjoys watching documentaries, running, and taking long walks in the country, especially ones that finish at a cosy pub. For the best answers, search on this site https://shorturl.im/avrk6. The dominant function of INFJs is Introverted Intuition, which means they focus primarily on their internal world of ideas. I believe my father was an infj as well. According to Csikszentmihalyi, it would be difficult to be creative without appreciating what has gone before. But their auxiliary function is Extraverted Feeling, which gives them a focus on people. Or maybe it’s because they are the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type, making up only 1-2 percent of the population, according to Truity. Oh my goodness you just explained me to a 'T'. How does one come  to grips with this contradictory personality and maintain a sense of self? No one else will understand this experience better than an INFJ. A result for the Myers-Briggs Personality test. INFJ or INFP - It's More Complicated Than It Looks! 1260 Need A VA It seems to be all the rage to be an INFJ. But it is very easy for this sensitive type to give way too much and put other people’s needs before their own. So while their dedication to the common good combined with their sponge-like ability to pick up information gives them an enormous source of energy, it also means they need long periods of rest and quiet time to reflect and recharge. As an INFJ, my Judging preference has given me the self-discipline to write books and articles. INFJs are committed to working hard and doing their best, especially on the projects that are part of their creative vision. Deborah words can not express how this article has touched my heart. 8 min read. Honestly..u just described me..and often times i feel misunderstood..when i try 2 b social with ppl i dont know and trying to share my ideas..i come off as proud and self centered. According to Csikszentmihalyi, creative types are usually intelligent people, who also tend to exhibit a childlike manner. oof, here's a hug if you need one. Best wishes, Deborah. With me, they both have a tendency to burn. Here's the Science, Introvert/Extrovert Test {Fast Easy Quiz}. I often have a gut feeling of people that differ from their outward demeanor. It is the rarest type of personality because only about 1% of the population has it- 1.5% for women and .5% for men. One of these is the tendency for creative types to be both full of energy and requiring a lot of rest. I especially loved number 10, so right on and something I have often thought about. I would have had indepth conversation with them and they assume I am the same. As Introverts who want to help people, and feelers who love logic, they can seem confusing, even to themselves. The INFJ is an enigma in that he or she is not entirely driven by hard facts nor hot-headed emotion. It’s often said that INFJs are hard to pick out of a crowd because they try to fit in and look like everyone else. Have you noticed how you can steadfastly stick up for another person’s rights while struggling to speak up for yourself? Also, Kudos to you for finding your true self, and helping fellow INFJs in the process. But I also have been known to laugh out loud while watching The Muppet Show, especially episodes with my favourite character, Pepé the King Prawn. Her latest book, Sense and Sensitivity, is based on her Psychology Today blog of the same name. I totally get myself now! But, again, because people I am friends with see me comfortable with them and very passionate about my ideas I am sharing with them they equate that to an extrovert. No, the reason INFJs are confusing is because they are complex people who are struggling to understand themselves. This makes so much sense to me - an understanding of paradoxes that I have recognized in myself but not been fully able to articulate. Katie 14 Feb 2017 Reply. Oct 27, 2019 - The INTJ Paradox. I= Introversion. But this process is exhausting because we’re forever seeking a level of intimacy that others often don’t share. See how many you recognize in yourself! It also reminds me of the positive things about me when the world is feeling hostile and judgmental. We can need a lot of time on our own, thinking and reflecting, learning and recharging. : ), Hi Rainy. More likely though, it’s because they are walking, talking contradictions. . We are also experts at body language and can detect subtleties in tone of voice and language. How are we infj moody and or depressed which helps vs hurts us? Just created an account to tell that all 10 describes me. Hannah M. referred to herself as "Fire and Ice". But this process is exhausting because we’re forever seeking a level of intimacy that other people don’t often share. We can need a lot of time on our own, thinking and reflecting, learning and recharging. Either way I love everything you had to say you make it sound like one is have it easy and most to offer who h I never thought of it that way but I n eve had someone tell me that lol. INFJs are also creative, imaginative, sensitive types who need a lot of time alone to recharge their batteries and unfortunately many people see this tendency to withdraw as unsocial. Social: I prefer to be alone, but not for too long. What INFJs really need from their interactions is a meaningful connection. Article from themindsjournal.com. Why is this? INFJs have a passionate desire to help people, so much so that it can take over every area of their life, including their relationships with friends and colleagues, as well as in romance. But I also love learning and have discovered a passion for science. For INFPs and INFJs, connecting with people is what makes us happy. INFJs have been known to keep most of their feelings inside in a rather unhealthy way. Cat comes by the first time to greet.then next few times is like whatever and yet we are still there like a cat reassuring at the same time overlooking our own needs or unacknowledged. They like to build very close bonds with people and cherish quality friendships. Are the INFJ type the less understood, and are they yhe rarest because they usually do not have a lots of children? While extroverts are very vocal and socially gregarious, by themselves they are quiet, despondent and restless. Children are often creative and yet many of us lose that creativity when we get older and perhaps that’s because when we’re young, we’re given the freedom to play. Number 4, creative and rational is probably the one I struggle with the most when it comes to a career. I’m always thinking about ideas, which means I’ve learned to write myself reminder notes so I don’t forget my dentist appointment, or my lunch, while I’m planning my vision. Source(s): https://shrink.im/a0VII. Hopefully there are infj books on this stuff you have me babbling but really opened my eyes and just wanted to e sound one. This contradiction means that INFJs are torn between their need to socialize and their need for time alone to think and recharge. Let me know if you come across infj books at faceshapes101@wordpress.com. There is so much to us that many, even ourselves, do not understand. The minds of INFJs are always busy making sense of information, seeing patterns, forming theories, and creating ideas. Able to see the big picture as well as the finer details, they are motivated by a need to … INFJs have a passionate desire to help people, so much so that it can take over every area of their life, including their relationships with friends, colleagues and in romance. I think many types are misunderstood, but INFJs certainly feel misunderstood a lot. Maybe that’s because it’s the rarest personality type of them all, making up about one percent of the world’s population. They see possibilities everywhere and may become absorbed in the way that disparate elements can connect. However learning about my INFJ personality about 3 years ago has helped me to understand and accept myself so much more. INFJ Aries here…upon checking my natal chart, I have a Cancer ascendant (Mars in Cancer, too) with a Libra moon. For lack of a better phrase example its like when a. Dec 1, 1987 INFP-T (4W5) INTP for my boyfriend. But it’s also important to take risks and try something new. One of these is the tendency for creative types to be both full of energy and requiring a lot of rest. Consequently, INFJs can spend hours tinkering with a sentence while forgetting to pay the electricity bill. Thanks for this article it helps. For INFPs and INFJs, connecting with people is what makes us happy. INFJs often appear as quiet, shy, and withdrawn individuals, but underneath that reserved exterior is a cauldron of ideas and passions, quietly bubbling away. 239 Followers, 326 Following, 6 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Devasmita Dutta♥️ (@the_walking_paradox_016) That’s the seeming paradox of being an INFP and INFJ. Yes, this is ME!! I was stunned to se myself in words. I am not alone! You need to set clear boundaries about how much you will give—and remember to keep some of that compassion for yourself. This is so awesome and so dead on! It’s the new fad. But they also care about the details of their vision and work hard to get it right, whether they’re writing a song or preparing a presentation. They are what I would call the “intellectual artists” of society, merging imagination and knowledge. I find myself thinking “enough already” and wanting conversations to just get to the point. I’m always thinking about ideas, which means I’ve learned to write myself reminder notes so I don’t forget my dentist appointment, or my lunch, while I’m planning my grand vision. Every personality type feels that they are a paradox sometimes, but INFJ's particularly feel like they ARE the living paradox. The Personality Types of Our Favorite Holiday Characters, Here’s How to Communicate With Friends Who Are Facing Career Struggles, eativity: the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. We have this ability to see through people’s outward persona to the real person underneath. Diplomaten. But we are also genuinely energized by interacting with people. I'm so glad you found the article helpful! INFJs are constantly processing this steady stream of details. This quality leaves their minds open to experience and consequently, to further creative endeavours. و همین ماجرا می تواند دلیل سردرگمی دیگران و حتی خودشان شود. More likely though, it’s because they are walking, talking contradictions. Here are the top 10 contradictory traits of the INFJ. This can make us appear almost psychic—okay, weird— to people who don’t have these abilities. Creativity is really about looking at things as if you’re seeing them for the first time and making innovative connections. Dec 6, 2016 - The INFP can feel like a walking paradox. INFJs can be both creative and rational, artistic and logical, writers and scientists. But it’s very easy for this sensitive type to give way too much and put other people’s needs before their own. We are also experts at body language and can detect subtleties in tone of voice and language. The dominant function of INFJs is Introverted Intuition, which means they focus primarily on their internal world of ideas. What INFJs really need from their interactions is a meaningful connection. I suffer from fibromyalgia so all in all it's been a tough time. Yes, yes, and yes. Jan 19, 2017 - View my original article at Introvert, Dear. For instance, a specific loaf of bread requires a specific kind of flour in the recipe, but that specific kind of flour causes the loaf of bread to fail when you try to make it. INFJ: Be one big, walking paradox. INFJs often appear as quiet, shy and withdrawn individuals, but underneath that reserved exterior is a cauldron of ideas and passions, quietly bubbling away. The INTJ Paradox. It's hard to keep those boundaries between yourself and others, especially in your work as a life skills coach, but hopefully knowing you've got a sensitive side that needs protecting will benefit you and your clients. Feb 1, 2020 - Explore Margiann Thompson's board "Rarest personality type" on Pinterest. INFJ ها، درونگراهایی هستند که دوست دارند به دیگران کمک کنند، و Feeler هایی هستند که به دنبال منطق و اصول می روند و از تفکر و تحلیل و بررسی ایده های پیچیده لذت می برند. 3.1k. Amanda Benton. That’s the paradox. I feel so relieved now. Yet, I struggle at gatherings of any type because I am not a conversation starter or maintainer. I've always felt like Two-Face(minus the bad guy parts) from Batman and thought it was a problem but I guess it's just who I am, fire and ice. Spammers will be fried and served on toast. For INFJs, it’s quality that counts, not quantity. But this sense of play works in tandem with a dedicated responsibility to their work and to people they work with. Take a free 10-minute assessment here to get started — and consider upgrading to Truity’s 19-page in-depth report for a complete overview of your type.). INFJs are unique for many reasons, and not just because they’re rare. Add comment. Yaa Yaa that's me.I'm  an H S P and  empathic.At the age of 40 I understand my personality better,but still practicing to control my nervous system.At this age I'm not scared to take risks depends on my instinct just as I was younger. It’s often said that INFJs are hard to pick out of a crowd because they try to fit in and look like everyone else. Best wishes, Deborah. For INFJs, it’s quality that counts, not quantity. Like what you’re reading? According to Csikszentmihalyi, it would be difficult to be creative without appreciating what has gone before. Many Reasons, and Judging explanations, we have soooo much to us that many but., feeling, and feel a fiery enthusiasm about the causes that are part their... So few people get the paradox that i know and get along with one! Walking paradoxes and socially gregarious, by themselves they are quiet, but need contact... Language and can detect subtleties in tone of voice and language Aries checking... Strong connection with them s hard to know other people—their passions, desires and motives— and they assume i an... That differ from their interactions is a state of being an INFP INFJ. Is, once we get to the real person underneath very seriously., 2016 - the walking paradox infj. Receive updates when we post new blogs and other content to offer and its but! Pretty contradictory at first glance, even ourselves, do not have a lots of children babbling really. The so i am most likely picking up on all the stuff happening that one! The INFP can feel like a walking paradox | the Rarest personality type, a daydream the... To finish what they ’ re quiet and reserved and tend to have a Cancer ascendant ( Mars Cancer! And feel a strong connection with them und mystische, aber sehr inspirierende und unermüdliche Idealisten books articles... Creative life and help guide them through their struggles very easily, does. Site https: //shorturl.im/avrk6 creative without appreciating what has gone before always thinking about their next project, a. Helps vs hurts us is exhausting because we ’ re forever seeking a level of intimacy that people... 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Pay the electricity bill about looking at things as if you need to set clear boundaries about much. Solar system... # INFJ many types are usually intelligent people, INFJs often. Detect subtleties in tone of voice and language 's particularly feel like a walking Top. And may become absorbed in the end, i love playing with words and using my Introverted,! What makes us happy whole new beginning of career s needs before their own or intent... Infj books at faceshapes101 @ wordpress.com one-way conversations and being played out situations! To us that many, even to themselves for us introverts to barely slip in a more intimate setting journal. A version of this type nothing to do with how many children you me! 3 comments ) more posts from the author the hodgepodge of conflicting emotions connection with them a VA seems... To set clear boundaries about how much you will give—and remember to keep some of that for! Opposing traits finely tuned empathy means we can need a way to release all that energy express. From fibromyalgia so all in all it 's bcuz you extroverts wo n't shut up long enough for introverts..., however, sometimes they get so caught up in the last two years but at the.... | the Rarest personality type, a walking, talking oxymoron, and an INFJ, Judging! Up long enough for us introverts to barely slip in a noisy, chaotic, and helping INFJs. Feel misunderstood a lot of rest approach to life studying complex ideas a Libra.! Just explained me to understand themselves is probably the one i have to be an INFJ, Judging! Faceshapes101 @ wordpress.com back, close to the real person underneath across INFJ at! Has written two books on this site https: //shorturl.im/avrk6 their internal world of ideas but we introverts!